Life Gets in the Way

The Guitarist

2011-10-06T01:47:00.001-07:00

the guitarist conundrum.

When there's 10 billion guitarists in the world, how do you stand out?

If you're a female? You have better odds. 90% (seemingly) of guitarists are male, so you've already got an audience. Men like watching girls play guitar. Youtube proves this to an embarrassing degree.

But if you're a dude? How do you appeal to and get the attention of 90% dudes?

Well, .... seemingly 50% - 60% of guitarists are self proclaimed Blues players. So playing blues is going to be hard to get noticed.

Being an outstanding player isn't really enough to get noticed.

Having some good songs isn't enough to get noticed.

Surprisingly,....speed seems to get attention. But it's not really gratifying attention. Though it's a good gimmick and way to get people to look a little bit longer then usual. But you'd better have more up your sleeve then speed, because that gets old fast. Better have some melody too.

Being a 'Character' seems to get attention. Most people know (or seem to know) who Phil X is. Partly I think because his personality is completely spazzy and over the top.

Your 'gear' can get attention, if you use some oddball stuff, (like Jack White) but still, you'd better have some decent songs to try and hold onto that attention.

You can wear costumes and have a big stage act/production to get attention, sometimes this can even hide the fact that your songs aren't that great. Because people are more interested in 'the show.'

It's a tricky thing to get peoples attention, and hold that attention. So while not being a fan I give Lady Gaga credit for figuring out what to do to get the attention and keep the attention, and cash in while she's got it.

There's a lot of really talented people out there that will never get that big break either because they don't have a gimmick, have the wrong gimmick, or are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus, honestly...luck seems to have a lot to do with it.

Or even worse, that thing that you can't name and put a finger on, but some musicians are just disagreeable and there's something about them that puts people off.

Yngwie (while managing to be quite successful) is kind of an example of this. Most people really, really, really don't like the guy. But usually can't explain why.

The music industry, the world, and people in general have changed so much in the past say,...20 years. It's really hard to see where to go from here.

The internet kind of leveled the playing field, but then again by leveling the playing field it's introduced a ton of 'competition' in that every brother and kid with a webcam is an internet rock star these days.

Plus people are just so jaded and unimpressed by anything these days, it's rather hard to shake them out of their malaise. Even when you're literally forcing them to sit down and listen to some amazing new band you've found. The attention span seems so short that if it doesn't immediately grab them in the first 5-10 seconds,...they're already tuning it out and starting to play Angry Birds on their ipod.

It's like trying to forge a career through a minefield where even 'the fans' are out to get you.

So I give Lady Gaga mad respect.

I give even more respect to someone like Amy Winehouse who not only was talented and a good songwriter. But was actually brave enough to say, "F**k it." and completely do her own thing.

I never heard anyone sound like her,...before her. (admittedly there's some 40's and 50's singers that sounded like that, ... but I mean lately.)

Of course now that she's dead, you better believe I see some ghouls rushing in to try and fill that void.

Imitators though,..........not innovators.

*-all numbers and figures were totally pulled out of my arse.

People are getting kind of spoiled with music don't ya think?

2011-09-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

Was thinking of this the other night because I bought the Mastodon cd called Crack the Skye and found myself listening to the first song on it over and over. Analyzing it and picking it apart. And of course really enjoying it as well. The odd Alice in Chains/Frogs sounding bridge, the crazy 6/8 rhythm that the verse and pre-chorus are in (and seriously, let me tell you that's not an easy riff to pick. To play? yes. To play properly in 6/8? no.)

So I was out in the alley looking at the stars and listening to it with headphones on, and I started thinking, "Man I've totally got my $10. out of this cd just with the first song, which I've now heard like 20 times. It's a great song, well written, well played, well sung and arranged. What's $10? Dinner from the Hong Kong Cafe down the street?"

It's not like I could eat that dinner 20 times for $10. and learn something in the process.

Then I started thinking about all the people who I've heard in the past 10 years say, "I wont buy a cd. Pay money just to get one or two good songs and a bunch of 'not so great' songs? Nope, I'll just buy the single."

And I realized people are missing out. I mean whatever works for them.....whatever. But me? I'd rather own the actual cd, with the artwork, and have a tangible piece of property.

Even if every other song on that Mastodon cd sucked (which they definitely don't) then I'd still have gotten my $10. out of them.

I'm starting to think it's unrealistic to buy a cd and expect every song on it to be awesome and amazing. That's demanding a hell of a lot out of an artist/musician. Pretty unreasonable actually.

I bet lots of people think, "man, if I could write just one really great song, I'd be happy."

Isn't that what we all want? To write a great 'Sitting on the Dock of the Bay' or a 'Stand by Me'? A great song that hopefully will outlive us? I mean,....I hope I do. I don't think I've ever written a great song, but I keep trying to.

I think some cd's like Tools 'undertow' or Alice in Chains 'Dirt' or Metallicas 'Master of Puppets' are almost flukes, where 9/10 songs on it are really great songs.

Because pretty much every cd I own has at least one or two 'ok' songs on it. Not bad, but not awesome either.

Anyway, I guess the point of all this late night rambling is it dawned on me that if I can get 2-3 really great songs out of a cd, then I feel like I got my moneys worth out of it.

People pay like $70. for a video game these days, $10. for a movie ticket that'll entertain you for 90 minutes, or $10. for dinner or 2 sandwiches from Subway. So I think $10 for a cd that might only have a couple great songs on it is pretty acceptable, because you're probably going to listen to those couple songs a whole bunch of times.

Especially nowadays where you can use YouTube as a sampler. If there's a band you're interested in, listen to them on YouTube. If you find you keep going back and playing the same song for awhile,....buy the cd and not the single.

I'm very sad to see cd's disappearing because I think owning the actual cd and not an mp3 is a hell of a lot cooler right?

It's nice to point at a stack of cd's and say, "that's my music collection!" Instead of pointing at an ipod or your cell phone and saying, "that's my music collection."

Matter of fact,....that's actually kind of lame.

Give me back the days where people had a crate of albums in their basement and when they played the record through some nice big speakers it actually sounded like there was a band in the room!

(But that's another subject, lol.)

Something Beautiful

2011-08-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

It's really strange to me that people close themselves off to new music. This is towards no one in particular.

But I really spend a lot of time looking for new music, in every genre. Today I've been listening to Sarah Chang and solo violin music. I really like metal, and all it's sub-genres. Same for rock, classic rock, blues, country, jazz, etc.

I just really love music, and am a massive fan of the electric guitar. I'll listen to Buddy Holly, then Johnny Cash, Then Necrophagist, then Sarah Chang, and it doesn't seem odd to me, it's all just music.

Humans live a complicated and complex range of emotions, and there's plenty of music that reflects those emotions, from full throated raging "Just wanna break sh*t!" types of music, to somber music that's so powerful and full of angst you almost want to cry listening to it (like some really good violin music can do.)

I just don't understand expressions like, "that's 'your' music, and this is 'my' music." I'm not saying anyone is wrong to say such things, just that I don't understand it.

When I was a kid and Metallica was still underground, I loved them and still do. I also liked Lnyrd Skynrd and Creedence Clearwater Revival and Zeppelin and Sabbath.
As a teen I got into early Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, TooL, etc. "grunge/alternative" music.
In my late 20's early 30's I got more into death metal and sci-fi metal, as well as some country and some jazz.

I just can't understand not wanting to grow and expand as a musician or even as a music listener. I don't understand not constantly seeking out new music to listen to.

I guess "grunge" would be considered 'my' music, since I was a teenager when it came out. But I can't imagine spending the rest of my life listening to just that when there's so much other good music that needs listening to. Pretty much all music through the entire course of human history has had some incredible musicians worth listening to from Bach and Mozart up to and including Tosin Abasi or that kid down the street playing a cool melody I hear drifting through my window.

It's all just music, you either love music or you don't right? As soon as you start labeling and boxing it in, you're really just hurting yourself.

You're not hurting the music, it doesn't care what you think. But you might be depriving yourself of some really cool music.

Or at the very, very least. Depriving yourself of hearing something that inspires you to do something new and different with the music that you write.

You never know where inspiration will come from. As an artist you've got to constantly feed yourself new things to digest and dissect.

The first time I heard Animals as Leaders, I thought it was pretty crazy, out of time stuff. And I didn't care for the guitar tone.
The second time I listened to it, I noticed he was using some really unusual chords and note choices for his melodies.
The third time I listened to it I realized the guy is a virtuoso.
The fourth time I listened to it I noticed I tended to think of outer space and sci-fi movies while it played.
The fifth time I just realized it's all pretty awesome and stopped paying attention and just enjoyed listening to it.
By the sixth time, I realized it's just some really cool music and I was glad I gave it the opportunity to grow on me.

Now I think he's one of the few current new guys out there really doing something new and interesting. Almost groundbreaking really. He's underrated because he's so far ahead of the curve people don't even get what he's doing.

I never would've discovered him if I'd closed my mind to new music, or only gave a song one chance to impress me.

Sometimes you have to listen to things a few times to really let it settle into your brain.

Same thing happened with Alice in Chains and Soundgarden the first times I heard them. I didn't like their voices. After I'd heard them a few times though, my ears adjusted to what I was hearing and enjoyed and appreciated it.

Sometimes we put these expectations on music, "if it doesn't sound like I think it should sound, then I don't like it." When really that's a rather silly way to think.

Give the artist a few chances to present their ideas to you, and see if it grows on you. See if there's something there that you could learn or take away from the experience.

I write lots of songs and I know quite a few people that write lots of songs. None of us ever say, "I'm writing for this crowd in particular."

We write for everyone and hope that everyone will enjoy it. While still understanding that not everyone will.

It's just music.

On one hand it's the most important thing in the world, on the other hand,......it's just music.

Rants about how a certain style of music, or a band or single musician 'sucks' just never makes sense to me. Not only is it a bit of a waste, it's just more negativity thrown into an already negative world.

Why not use that opportunity to present to me something that you think is awesome and amazing (like I did with the Animals as Leaders video) and perhaps you can share with me something awesome that I would not have discovered on my own?

I could tell you many things about the world that suck and make me sick to my stomach, but as long as I have your attention for this short moment as our lives intersect, I'd rather show you something beautiful.

Cheers.

-M-

Society and their Blues Artists (Joe Bonamassa)

2011-08-14T00:15:00.000-07:00

I think, and this is just my personal opinion, but I think people just need to learn to accept and take what they get and stop projecting onto musicians what they think they should be doing.

Joe Bonamassa dresses nice and wears sunglasses. That's what he wants to do, it's what he feels comfortable doing. He plays blues for a living. People want to say he's a shredder and I don't see that at all. He's not tearing the pentatonics up any faster then SRV did (from what I see.)

I just see a dude making a living playing some cool rocking blues.

It is what it is.

I'll be the first person to say all these rules about how people are supposed to play, and things they're supposed to do, and what to wear or not wear to fall comfortably into the category of being "blues players" is just completely and totally ridiculous. Don't play too fast, don't use too much distortion, don't use humbuckers,.......jeez.

It's total bulls**t. Who wrote these supposed rules? Tradition? What tradition? The tradtional Greats that everyone is comparing the 'new' guys to, weren't following any rules or traditions, they were just living their lives playing their music. So is Joe.

Maybe he's creating his own traditions? There's a thought.

He's obviously carving his own path. And if he's anything like me I bet he'd say, "if you like it, cool, c'mon along for the ride. If you don't like it? Blow! Go find something else to criticize."

People are destroying the blues by trying to force it to be something it's not and never was.

It's expression.

It's living your life and expressing yourself through your instrument. I know a lot of people like to make jokes about John Mayer, and I'll be the first to admit I think one of the reasons we do is because he appears to not be committed to the blues. He plays pop when he wants, and blues when it's convenient, it seems like it's all fun and games for him. Who knows?

But from the little I've seen of Joe, this guy is living the blues. This is his life and it seems like what he's always done. That's what a bluesman is. Someone who's not doing it by choice. But doing it because to not do it would be like death.

Sometimes I just feel so bad for todays musicians. Living under a microscope where everybody and their brother is right there scrutinizing every move and every mistake. Picking on everything from the clothes they wear to their choice of guitar, to whether they play too fast or slow, or use overdrive or distortion.

It's madness.

It's just blues guitar. Maybe it's not your particular favorite kind of blues style, but who are we to judge? There's like 20 different styles of blues music.

I'm not out there playing to a crowd of thousands of people, and Joe is. And he's doing it by playing blues. And nowadays that's extremely impressive.

Shouldn't we just be happy that in the age where Hip-Hop rules, that people even still have any kind of interest in the blues? This is a genre that could've probably died a long time ago, but it didn't. Because it's real and it speaks to people. And at the end of the day isn't that what people really want? Music that speaks to them and moves something inside them? Makes them think and feel things?

There's a lot of bitterness in people today I can't even begin to understand. I've never heard one bad thing about Joe B as a person. I've never heard he acts like a jerk or treats people poorly, or talks badly about other people in the press. I just see a dude who makes a living playing some mean blues guitar.

If he died tomorrow, half the people that talk sh*t would suddenly say how he was so talented and how much he'll be missed.

How about we start appreciating these people while they're alive? And not having their deaths give us the hindsight to realize that we missed out on someone awesome.

Broken mind or a different view?

2011-08-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

Now I've gotta figure out how to get a real job when I haven't had one in 10 years. That's not going to look good on the resume. I can see the guy now, ... "Soo, I see this long gap in your work history here,....were you in prison?" "No sir, Cryogenics, long story but things are better now."

I know I want some health insurance though. And I'm not going back to construction because that's what busted my back in the first place.

Wonder if Guitar Center is hiring? Lmao. I'd love to work at Sweetwater but I'd have to relocate. But you know even if I end up selling power tools at Sears, I'm kind of OK with that. It's been a long 10 years trying to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly just by doing music and teaching. I've realized it really doesn't take much to make me happy because I'm not interested in material possessions, so I don't think it's going to take a ton of money to keep me happy either.

A lot of these feelings have been brewing for a year anyway. Unless you're a rich musician, being a musician is kind of a crap life. It's a weird feeling when you play in a club alongside or the day after or before some big band from the 80's, or a metal band you used to listen to or something. You start feeling like, "man they're playing here? They haven't gotten any further in 20 years then playing the same dive I'm playing?"

I was never really interested in the life or the lifestyle. I just like the art. I'm not a performer, hell I'm an introvert much of the time. I just happened to have found that my favorite canvas is a guitar, and I really enjoy sharing what I've learned and I like sharing my songs. Nowadays I can teach and make youtube videos if I want. I'm accomplishing both things that make me happy and I don't have to worry about the 100 things that don't. I can share my music pretty easily these days, I don't have to grind it out in the clubs if I don't want to.

I'd still like to gig and have fun playing music, but it's not the 'be all end all' anymore that it was for a long, long time. And I do think I'd like to turn the Malikon band into more of a bluesy rock band then the bluesy metal band it is now. That might cost me my band members though. I don't know, I'll have to talk to them. They'll either be happy or not but I hope they'll understand.

That hunger and that burning to take on the world just isn't really there any more. I just want to play for fun, not because I have to prove I'm as good or better then those that came before me. Something just shifted inside me and it's not so important now. I've accepted I'll never be on the cover of Guitar World or be able to shake James Hetfields hand and I'm cool with that.

I still love playing and still want to play. But that feeling of being chased by some monster that's always pushing me to go, go, go and make my mark on the world just isn't really there now. My biggest 'fans' are my GF and my kids, and I don't need to impress them with my guitar.

I can be in a blues band and just play locally and never get anywhere and never make money at it, and still be happy. It's taken me 20+ years to learn that. My success isn't dependent on national or global recognition. I realize that the goals I set for myself as a kid I've already achieved. I never dreamed of being famous. I dreamed of being able to destroy a guitar and be able to do anything I want to do on it, spontaneously. I reached that goal and I don't have to prove it to myself any longer.

Now I have new goals. Like steady income, health insurance, seeing my kids more, hearing my girlfriend laugh more because she's not sweating the bills and bearing the brunt of our finances.

Basically I think I just grew up or something. The world just looks a bit different now.

I'm starting to see the cup while still being half empty, also actually is half full, lol. I'm sure people will still piss me off and lots of lifes little annoyances will continue to annoy me. But I just see things a bit differently now.

Being able to come home and sit down to dinner with my woman, watch some silly tv show and eat dinner while we laugh about things suddenly seems priceless and not mundane.

I think I wasn't letting myself be happy because I'd convinced myself only some unobtainable goal would make me happy. But then the more I learn about professional touring bands and the life they live, I don't think that'd make me happy at all. It's a pretty crappy life. I mean I'm sure U2 and Metallica have pretty cool lives. But there's 100's of other bands out there just grinding it out that are never going to have that kind of fame or recognition. And one day it'll all be over for them and they spent their whole life bringing music to people who generally don't really appreciate it, or steal it or whatever. I guess I realized that the life I always dreamed of, really isn't for me. And that I have the ability and people in my life that make me genuinely happy and I don't need more. Like I said if people really dig my music I can always keep making music and releasing it online. I don't need to tour around and grind out the clubs to be able to share it with people. I share it with people now from my living room.

And by all means, if anyone likes my music? Rip that *****. Download and convert it if you want it. I made it to share with people, not charge them for it. There's plenty of programs like download helper that'll yank it right off of youtube. Download and enjoy, that's what it's there for. Sorry the quality isn't better but I just do what I can with what I've got.

Life Changing Moments

2011-08-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Turns out I had a pretty awful week, though it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

On monday I had some kind of attack where I couldn't breath. My chest seized up and my back clenched and I really just couldn't draw air fast enough. It hurt and it sucked, and I didn't smoke any cigarettes that day.

On tuesday I felt better and went for a walk to the music store and I admit, smoked a couple cigarettes that day.

On wednesday I had another attack, really, really bad one. It dropped me and I couldn't get off the bathroom floor. I had some time to think about things while I was staring at the tile. Mostly that I was an idiot and this was probably because of smoking. That's when I had a moment of clarity and realized that I hadn't "devoted my life to playing guitar,'' I've actually put my life to the side and focused on little else since I was a teenager. Didn't go to prom, didn't do a lot of things. Pushed away a lot of friends and family. Totally committed to the ninja path of being a BAMF on a guitar. And I'll tell you while I was laying there? That seemed like a really stupid thing to do. Suddenly guitar wasn't important at all and I really didn't care if I ever played again. I just wanted to breath and see my family. At that moment I think I hated guitar. I viewed it as some kind of evil succubus that stole my life.

My girlfriend came home and found me panting (and crying, hell, long as I'm being honest) which really scared her because I haven't cried since I was a kid. I actually thought I couldn't do it anymore. But at this point I was in so much pain and couldn't breath, my mind was racing about what an idiot I'd been spending my life playing guitar, and I figured I had lung cancer. For being a 20 year smoker I just couldn't imagine having this much pain and it being anything else.

So I went to the hospital. Cook county. After being there for hours I started feeling better and I asked, "how long is the wait to see a doctor?" I was told 18-20 hours. Ahh the joy of being uninsured. Tell them you can't breath, and they say have a seat the doctor will be with you tomorrow.

Well, I went home. Even posted here a little bit. I was feeling better and the denial that everything was ok kicked back in.

Until I went to sleep.

I woke up gasping and retching around 5am. Back to the hospital.

I was seen last night around 11pm.

Yup, I sat in purgatory for 17 hours surrounded by all the other poor miserable people.

Scared to go to the bathroom. (what if they call my name?)
Scared to go outside and get warm (what if they call my name?)

Ugh, it sucked. Longest 17 hours of my life.

Now, no religion on the board and I'm a pretty confirmed agnostic/atheist. But, well it's true, there's no atheists in a foxhole. I was praying hard, that's pretty much all I did for those 17 hours.

I was convinced it was lung cancer. What else could it be? I'm a pretty healthy guy, reasonably young (though creeping up on mid-30's) and now my back feels like I'm getting a knife in my shoulder blade every time I breath and my chest feels like it's covered in scar tissue. My hands are shaking, I can't take a deep breath. Pretty miserable all the way around.

And I kept thinking about how I'd kind of wasted my life. Taking music so seriously that in a way it made me miserable. Constantly pushing to have it as a career even though I knew that luck is a big factor and you can't force luck. And the older I got I think the more bitter I got.

So I made a deal with The Big Guy upstairs. Get me out of this, and I'm selling some guitars and bringing things down to just my Fender Strat and my Fender amp. I'll tell the guys in the band that I still want to play, but only for fun-that I don't want to kill myself all the time trying to find a bass player and gigs and promote us and drive myself crazy trying to make something happen that's most likely just not going to happen. And if they don't want to play with me anymore I understand. I'm going to start applying myself to finding a real, actual, job-type job. With benefits, so I don't have to sit for 17 hours in a clinic/hospital again. And I want to buy my GF a ring and marry her. Because she's stuck by me year after year while I struggled and never complained.

Basically I realized it's time to put down my guitar, get my nose out of books, and start living my life again. Ever since I first hurt my back 10 years ago it's like I've been scared. So I've just been taking it easy, playing it safe. Staying inside and away from people much of the time and just focused on books and guitar.

So now I had this plan in my mind, of course there's that whole lung cancer thing kinda weighing heavy on me. In my mind it felt like standing in a hallway looking through a door. On the other side of that door was sunshine, grass and trees, my kids laughing, ....life. But I didn't know if I was going to be able to walk through that door or if it was going to slam shut and leave me in darkness forever.

So I had blood work done and an EKG and a chest X-ray. Here's where I really started freaking out. The Xray guy kept staring at the computer, "Sooooo, why are you here?" "I can't breath" looks back at the computer, "You smoke." "Uh, yeah. I used to but I just quit." looks back at the screen, "Take care."

Now my mind's just racing, "what did he see? how did he know I smoke? aw man this guy looks at x rays all the time, I bet he sees the cancer and doesn't know what to say so he's just staying stone faced and now wont make eye contact."

This was about the 14th or 15th hour of waiting, so I still had hours to see a doctor. Those last couple hours were sheer hell and my mind was like a trapped rat. I started thinking the nurse tech was avoiding my eyes because, "he knows" and all kinds of things along those lines. My GF came and brought me some food but couldn't stay too long because of parking. When she left I saw tears in her eyes and it killed me. She's a strong woman. We're both members of the 'No-Cry' club, and I could see this was killing her. She was thinking the same thoughts. I was thinking that this is going to destroy my mother who lost both her parents in the past couple years and if she loses me now she's going to spiral badly. I thought of my kids and my ex-wife. And I actually thought of you guys and gals here at Strat-Talk and realized how much I'd miss some of you. I remember hoping my GF would be able to log in so she could at least post a thread letting you all know what happened. I was sure I wasn't actually coming out of the hospital and going home again.

So I'm praying like crazy. "Hey big guy? Remember me? Yeah, the knucklehead with the guitar who doesn't need anything or anybody. Hey if you could forgive me for being a jackass I'd really appreciate a hand down here. Turns out I've been a fool and I'm not ready for the story to end just yet. It's been a fun ride man, but I think it's time to grow up. If you could uhm, suddenly make me healthy? That'd be really awesome. Some people might be sad if I suddenly check out and I'd hate for people to be sad, but mostly I'd hate to leave feeling like I didn't live as much as I should have. You see now I've got all these plans I'd like to try and see prosper and I can't do that if I'm not here. I know my plans mean nothing to you, but if you'll look in my head you'll see that I'm ready to try and become a different and better person. Heck I'll even laser off all the tattoos if it will make you happy. Just let me have this one thing. I've never asked for much and I'll never ask for a favor again. Just take this ***** out of me and let me breath again and you'll see a different Malikon."

Suddenly I could breath better.

I know, it sounds crazy. I'm not saying it was a miracle or trying to push an agenda. I'm just saying the fact was, I could breath better. My back still ached and my chest felt sore, but it wasn't like before. It wasn't burning pain. It was an ache.

Finally got to go back and get in a room and bed and see a doctor. Dropped my clothes in the bag and wore that awesome gown, lol. The doctor came in and talked to me for awhile. And her demeanor scared me, she was too nice. I thought it was because of what she'd seen on the x ray. She took temp and all that stuff. Listened to my back and front with the stethoscope. And then dropped the bomb.

I was perfectly fine, and my x rays looked fine. Remarkably fine for someone who's been smoking for 20 years. And lets be honest, not just cigarettes. It's not just the music that I dug from the 60's and 70's, lol.

I saw 3 doctors and they all said the same thing. My x rays look "good", the EKG and blood work show no problems either. I dodged a bullet. I got some weird non viral/non infectious bronchitis which made my lungs and chest inflamed, which is what the ache was. And because I was coughing and already have a hurt back, I pulled a muscle in my back which made it even more painful then it should've been. And it's possible my over active mind was causing panic attacks which made other symptoms develop. (like tingling arms and legs and an ever harder time breathing.)

Did I dodge a bullet? Did the big guy somehow make some awful thing inside me disappear? I don't know. I do know I felt something in that waiting area and there was an immediate change in the way I felt. I try to rationalize and tell myself my brain probably dumped some dopamine in me. But why would it do that? I wasn't happy at all. I'm surely not preaching or trying to convince anyone of anything. I just know I felt different. Draw from that what you like, or nothing at all. It is what it is.

I got out of the hospital and there was rain and lightening. It was beautiful. I took the train home and walked some blocks back to my apartment watching the lightening and smiling. Totally soaked and happier then I've probably ever been.

It's been a crazy week but I feel like I have a new view and lease on life.

And my guitars are for sale if anyone's interested.

Just not the Fender.

I'll still teach and play, probably still make youtube videos too when the inspiration hits. But I'm through taking it seriously. It's just for fun now. My whole life I've been nomadic and pretty care free. It's time to settle down and start being normal.

Oddly enough that doesn't scare me like it used to, it's actually kind of comforting.

Wow, time has passed

2011-08-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

Man I feel so bad. Digging through my bookmarks tonight I found this one. I'd completely forgotten I even started a blog. Most time's I feel like I don't have much to say. Other times I think I say too much.

Life's been hectic lately.

Got a ton of new music up on my music channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Malikon1

and lately I've been wrestling pretty hard with the idea of growing up and finally settling down. Had a health scare last week that put life in a slightly new perspective for me. Perhaps I'll comment on that later, it's hard to write about.

heh, I have a blog.

Totally forgot!

In my fantasy world....

2010-06-01T15:14:00.001-07:00

Come, take my hand, let us journey off to Malikons fantasy world.

In my fantasy world there are no cork sniffers, because cork sniffers aren't allowed to buy guitars. Much like licensing for a car you'd have to display some kind of skill to buy a higher end guitar. Anyone can get a license and buy a car at the dealership, but to buy a RACE CAR you better have proven that you're an experienced racer. Imagine if that applied to guitars as well. You'd no longer have people with $6,000. guitars they can't play looking down their nose at you. No more vaults full of guitars that aren't being played. No more MIC/MIK/MIM/MIA debates. No more internet strangers telling you that your guitars are crap while their expensive guitars are made out of liquid sex and fairy dust. Then when you look at or listen to them play,....it's bad.

Imagine going into a music store and asking to play a $5,000. guitar and they hand you an exam?

Or you sit down to play it but you can't really play so the salesmen pulls it away from you and kindly points at the First Act guitars and kindly advises you to try those instead.

Imagine if you saw someone with a nice guitar you KNEW that they knew how to play it, because otherwise they wouldn't have it.

Imagine a world where only the actual musicians and players who were good at guitar got to own the "nice" guitars, and all the cork sniffers who can't play got stuck with the First Acts until they improved and demonstrated some proficiency, then they're allowed to upgrade to a better guitar.

If you saw a nice guitar in the hands of an older gentlemen it'd be instant respect. You'd know that he earned the guitar and that he could teach you a few things.

*sigh* It'd be a neat fantasy...

*POOF!!!*

But here in the real world...........

(Disclaimer:I'm not pissed at the cork sniffers. However someone made a comment to me recently that really annoyed me because it came from someone that can't play their way out of a wet paper bag, yet had the audacity to mock other peoples equipment.)

You can't buy talent or skills, those take actual work, checkbooks need not apply.

Since China owns us now

2010-05-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

Suddenly my Made in China guitars don't seem so bad. I mean sure my whole life I kept thinking about how one day, Onnnneee Dddddaaayyy I'll have guitars that are made in America. But I can never really bring myself to part with that much money for a single guitar.

But now China owns us. So suddenly my Made in China guitars seem down right American!

Women and Food

2010-05-23T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not trying to bash the ladies, I love the ladies. But I've noticed there's this weird thing about them and food. When a guy is hungry, he gets some food. When a woman gets hungry it seems like she talks about it for hours before she actually gets any food. Or she'll complain to her friends or significant other until they get them food. Not sure if it's some kind of genetic 'Hunter/Gatherer' thing, but it's weird.

I first noticed it when I was about 20 and playing in a band in Baltimore. I'd taken my girlfriend to practice and she starting complaining very loudly that she was hungry. To the point where we had to stop practice to go get her food. For a long time I thought it was a freak thing, but then I noticed more and more times where a woman would loudly complain about getting food. I would always think, "then go get yourself some food, jesus quit talking about it and do something."

and then today I overhear (because honestly I was trying really hard to ignore it) a 2 hour conversation on food. What do you want to get? IDK, what do you want to get? And then one of them loudly exclaiming, "I'm Hungry!" And I always think, "Then get some FOOD!"

I guess I'm sexist because I always thought women were better cooks, and while I'm not saying I expect a woman to serve me food I'd would tend to expect that more then I would expect a guy to serve me food. I can't picture a group of guys hanging out while one of them keeps loudly complaining about how hungry he is, because every guy knows that in a group setting like that it wouldn't be long before the complaining individual is told in no uncertain terms to, "Go fix yourself some f**king food and quit b****ing about it!"

But I submit to you that if you know a woman who is loudly complaining about being hungry, that now is not the time to tell her, "Go fix yourself some f**king food and quit b****ing about it!" because her anger over being hungry will now be directed towards you. And us guys have soft vulnerable spots that do not receive kicks very well.

So while todays posting may be a bit of a b****y rant offering no valuable solutions, I just thought it might be interesting to comment on the phenomena I've noticed.

When men in a group are hungry, we make or get food. When women in a group get hungry they have to talk about it for hours in the hopes that someone will make/bring them food.

I find the whole thing very odd, but I'm slowly learning that discussing food makes my brain shut off completely. Food is what we eat because we need to eat to fuel our bodies, I can't imagine people sitting around talking for hours about how they're out of gas for their car, so why do people sit around complaining about how their bodies are out of fuel? Go. Get. Some. Food!

Guitar Hero VS Real Guitar

2010-05-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday another teacher and I were joking and talking about "the whiners," and it's always guitar hero kids going, "But this is hhhhaaaaarrrdddddd!!!!" And how some days you just wanna tell the kid, "then go back to playing guitar hero and quit whining and wasting my time!"

The whining gets so annoying. Seems like all the kids now want you to feed their ego and tell them they're doing awesome even when they're not. I've dropped students if they don't improve after a few months. If after 4 months you still can't move your fingers, play a chord or one scale, I don't even want to mess with you anymore.

And the lying gets to me too. "Did you practice?" "oh yeah! everyday, for hours!" "really?" "Yeah sure did." "Then how come you don't remember any of your chords, any of your scales, or anything at all? How can you have completely forgotten everything you've spent HOURS practicing?" "well I was really busy this week....."

This goes on for months with some students.

Quote from a board member at Strat-Talk: "He really thought that winning guitar hero took a lot of effort..."

I've seen that too. People all proud of themselves that they won a video game with a guitar shaped controller. It's an easy, and rather silly, game. My girlfriends friends love to play it, I don't even mess with it anymore.

Matter of fact I've gotten into arguments with my GF because we're at a friends house party which turns into a Rock Band/Guitar Hero party, and then she wonders why I'm suddenly bored out of my mind and just want to go home. I've told her a million times, "I actually play guitar, this is boring and stupid."

She does accounting work, I tried to tell her it'd be like going to a party where people plug in fake calculators and start playing Virtual BookKeeper. Would that be fun? Seeing your job turned into a dumb party game that people expect you to play because you can play an actual guitar? Then get mad at you when you're playing it on Hard because anything other then Hard puts you to sleep?

I've actually somewhat grown to hate that game. It was fun at first, and I thought it'd be great for guitar because more people would make the jump to a real guitar, but I actually see more people making the jump back to the fake plastic one once they realize a real guitar doesn't have 5 buttons that make everything happen.

Apparently a young boy fell in the river last night

2010-05-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

There's a small creek/river that runs right next to my apartment building near a park. Apparently a small boy feel in the water last night and the authorities haven't been able to find him yet. I feel bad for his parents. Though I also wonder why weren't they watching him so he couldn't fall in the fast moving water that's surrounded by fence. All last night we had the news people, the firemen, divers in the water, and helicopters circling overhead. Now the next day I see we've still got helicopters circling overhead. I hate to be rude, but if the kid fell in the water at 6pm last night I don't think the helicopters are really going to find him at 2pm the next day. That boy's been washed away I'm sure.

It's very creepy when there's helicopters circling your building for days. Really screws with your sense of paranoia.

Why I dig Squier and quit being a guitar snob.

2010-05-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

I was walking down the street choking on exhaust fumes. Cold, wet and hungry. I had just got into town, it was night and was exploring the area on foot to get a feel for the place, when I walked past a music store and saw a guitar in the window. It didn't call to me, but the store did, it looked warm in there. I knew I looked like a bum in my soaking wet insulated flannel and dirty jeans, but I didn't care. It looked warm and I figured I could at least get out of the cold for a few minutes by "trying out" a guitar. I knew I looked like **** when I walked in and was embarrassed by it, and the owner came over right away to try and shoe me out of his store. Looking back I don't blame him. I timidly asked him if I could try the blue Squier Strat that was in the window. I don't know if the guy had pity on me or just figured, "what the hell" but he let me sit down with a small POS practice amp (I think it was a silvertone or something pretty junky sounding.) I sat down, made sure the guitar was in tune and started playing. I hadn't even touched a guitar in over a year, I literally owned 2 bags of clothes at the time and that was it. But man, my fingers remembered and the muscle memory came flooding back. My fingers were tired almost instantly so I just jammed some slow quite blues. I didn't want to be obnoxious and kind of just wanted to disappear for a moment and let the bull**** of the past year go away for a little while. My brothers I tell you that moment changed my life. All the pain, the anger, the frustration and angst I'd been holding inside for that past year came out of me. I couldn't cry, I never cry. But that guitar cried for me. I screamed, I cried, I wailed, I played for the loss I felt over losing my family and everything I owned. I played like it was the last time I'd ever touch a guitar, because deep down I felt like it would be. What no one knew is that I'd seriously been debating jumping in front of a train. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of being cold, tired of being hungry, tired of missing the ones I loved the most, and mostly just tired. You don't get good sleep if you don't have a bed and a door to close to lock out the outside world. I played, and played. Never opened my eyes. I played for the sadness and the joy I'd had in my life and I played for what was sure to be the last time. I was saying goodbye to my greatest lover (the guitar) and telling her how much I'd miss her and how I just wish things could have been different. I'm not lying when I tell you that my chest is tightening right now just recalling what was going through my head back then. When I stopped I opened my eyes and my hands were shaking. The owner of the store was standing a couple feet away from me and instead of looking at me with disgust he simply asked, "can you teach?" I told him yes I used to teach in another life but it had been years. He asked me to come back tomorrow early in the morning.

I got up early, went to a bathroom and got cleaned up, shaved, pulled my hair into a ponytail, stopped by the dollar store and put on some cologne and went to the store. Right away I got students. All I had to do was sit in front and play guitar and people would ask me for lessons. It was amazing really. I started making daily cash and hiding it away, not long after I was able to rent a couch from a guy in his living room for $50. a week. I finally had a roof over my head again. I spent a year on that couch, saving, saving, saving. Living off of Ramen Noodles and water. I was down to about 115 pounds by that point when normally I'm around 155. So I looked,....not that great. But by saving I was eventually able to get a very small apartment in the ghetto. It's not an exaggeration, it was the ghetto. I had hookers and drug dealers 10 feet outside my door. But I finally had a door to close and lock that I could call my own, all because of that Squier guitar. I kept saving and my boss was cool and let me take guitars home all the time so I could practice, I'd discovered Flamenco guitar and really threw myself into it and it wasn't long before I was making a tiny bit of money doing that style of music for people as well. The neighborhood was awful but it didn't seem so bad at the time, I was just glad to finally, finally have my own place. The people in the neighborhood didn't mess with me even though I'm white. They literally thought I was insane and no white guy in their right mind moves to the worst part of town. But because I played music and would sit on the porch and hang out with them sometimes I got treated pretty well, even made a couple friends. Eventually I was able to get better and better apartments moving up towards the better parts of town and closer to the music store. I'd made some good musician friends and was playing with them constantly as well. Music is my life, it's all I do. Now in this time I'd chewed through a couple electrics as well, some cheap sh**ty ones, a couple good ones. A Shector which was stolen, a Jackson which just wasn't for me, but I kept looking for "the one" the guitar that just felt right and felt like 'Me.' Now in this time I'd been teaching about a year with this truly beat up and punished Seafoam Green Squier, covered with stickers, just a dog of a guitar. Yet out of the ones in the store that was always the one I would grab, I just thought it was one of the best guitars in the store. I could teach all day with it and not really have to tune it, plus it was very Rock 'N Roll. One humbucker one volume knob. Finally one day I looked down at it and realized, "all this time I've been looking for The One, and I've been playing it everyday!" I guess I was being a Squier snob at the time, I just didn't really consider it. But it dawned on me that it didn't matter what name was on the headstock, THIS guitar was the one I was always reaching for. I went home that day and the next day brought in my Jackson Rhodes V w/ an original Floyd Rose on it. It was a pretty sweet guitar I suppose, just not for me. I told the boss I wanted to trade the Jackson for the green Squier. He thought I was nuts. The guitar looked like sh*t, covered in stickers, some peeling off. Dents, nicks, scratches, the works. But I didn't care I just knew it was the one for me. We traded even steven and the next day my Jackson was sold. I knew it wouldn't last long hanging up in the store. Some lucky guy got that V w/ F.Rose for probably less then $200. because the boss just honestly didn't realize what it was worth. I still didn't care. I took the Green Dog home and ripped and scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed and got all the stupid stickers off it and thought, "man this is kind of cool looking!"

I started playing out that guitar and bringing it to the studios to record with, I still do. I got looks, I got comments, I didn't care. The Green Dog was my baby and she was an underdog like myself. She'd been thrown away (sold to the store) and abandoned just like I had, but we were both fighters, and that guitar and I had each others back. I've played it everyday for years and years at this point, and she still keeps ticking and sounding great and staying in tune.

Realizing I wanted another Strat I started slowly saving a few dollars each week for months and months, and months. Using that time I started reviewing what guitar to get. I knew by then it was going to be a Squier. I just felt like Squier is a guitar for the people. Made by poor people, for poor people. Well,.....I'm poor people so that suits me just fine. I started reading the reviews on the CV guitars and looking at pics and just thought, "man there's no way the guitar can be that good for that cheap!" Plus deep down don't we all wish we could have a 1950's Stratocaster? I knew that the CV50's was gonna be the one for me. I'd been doing repairs and setups on Strats for awhile and really found them to be exceptional guitars even some of the copies were really good, so I figured as long as the CV is halfway decent I could fix it up, set it up right, and really make it a player. Turns out I didn't have to, She was perfect right out of the box, like she was made for me. She knew I'd love her and treat her like a lady. I noticed when playing her that the vintage saddles don't have a groove in them, the strings would literally kind of bounce on the saddles. I thought that was crazy, but I loved it. It gave a sparkly, jangly quality to the guitar. And that's when I knew she was to be called Mrs. Jangles. Mrs. because she's a lady who's married to me, and Jangles because that's what she does. So now I have Mrs. Jangles and Green Dog, both Squiers, both great guitars, and both guitars that I love dearly. Even on days when I don't play Mrs. Jangles I'll open the case just to take in her beauty and polish her a little bit. Just to give her some attention, to let her know I care.

And so concludes my love story. It's one I've wanted to tell for a long time but I guess I needed to find people that could appreciate it and in a way understand the very real love a man can feel for a guitar.

I love Squiers because a blue Affinity Squier literally saved my life, put love back in my blackened dead heart and gave me the strength to go on for one more day, which turned into one more day after that.

They say God works in strange ways, maybe he does. If I hadn't seen that blue Squier in the window I really believe I would have continued my journey to the train station.

I will always love Squier, no other guitar has affected me so deeply or moved me in such a way. I feel true love and loyalty to them. Which is why sometimes I get mad at the things people say about them, but I understand. Most people never go through what I went through and will never look at them the way that I do.

Music can heal you, but the right guitar at the right time can literally save your life.

Cheers and Peace,
-M-

I Like Poly! There, I said it.

2010-05-16T16:34:00.002-07:00

I know that it at least seems like most people hate poly finishes on an electric guitar. But I must confess, I find myself really liking them. They stay looking new, scratches come right out when I polish them, and they feel durable and will keep moisture and acid sweat from seeping down into the wood and potentially rotting it out. I always use to dog out my guitars and beat the hell out of them, and of course had to set them up all the time too. But now I realize that taking care of them they work a lot better, they stay looking new and shiny and they keep working just fine. My CV50 taught me that poly and taking care of your guitar is not really the bad things I thought they were.

I've played and owned natural guitars and light finish guitars, and they're nice too I'm not knocking it. But I find just as much resonance and unplugged volume coming out of my poly guitars as I do out of any guitars I've ever owned. For example even in my youtube/Life gets in the Way video you can hear the strings on my Agile guitar very loud and clear even though the mic was 6 feet away from the guitar and the amp was on and turned up. That's a very loud, poly coated guitar. You can hear it unplugged on the other side of my apartment, it's ridiculous. (it's also become my #2 favorite because of it's resonance and volume.)

But I just don't get the Hate On that some people seem to have for poly. Not only does it not bother me to have a poly coated guitar, I appreciate the benefits it brings to the instrument.

I'm not trying to change anyones mind, and I understand that some people will never want poly on their guitar, but I thought I'd express some love for the benefits of the oft hated poly.

Act Your Age!

2010-05-16T16:34:00.001-07:00

So at what point do you act your age?

When I was a kid I didn't like what all the other kids seemed to like. When I was a teen I was caught up in music and things like 'The Prom' and crap like that had no interest for me. As an adult I tried the 'be normal, get married, have a family' thing and that didn't work out at all. And now in my early 30's I have friends that are the same age that seem to act and think so old! They're talking about retirement plans and IRA's and fixed loans and stuff, and I'm just like, "yeah, I saw a cool movie, I'm gonna go play guitar now."

Either I'm just incredibly immature, or I just don't get it. They all seem so miserable. Hating their life, hating their job, never having any time to do fun things because they're working and saving all the time. It's like watching a hive of bees buzzing around inching towards their deaths, but they're so busy pressing their noses into grindstones they don't see The Reaper gradually starting to notice them. I just feel like life is too short to kill yourself working and worrying over every little thing. I know I have a screwed up view of the world because I even resent body maintainence. No I'm not a dirty stinking bastard who never brushes his teeth. But somedays I think about how much time I have to spend eating, showering, brushing teeth, making food, taking a dump, etc. And I think, "damn I have to waste a lot of time taking care of this flesh shell!"

Now I look in the mirror and I don't think I look my age, and people tell me I look pretty young, and I guess that's a good thing, but I suppose I never realized how immature I am. I don't have a checking account, I don't have credit cards, I just don't care. Everyone else says it's so important but I just don't get it. I pay for things in cash. If I don't have the cash I don't get it.

I'm scared I'm gonna wake up 60 and realize there was a lot of stuff I was supposed to do that I didn't do, but at the same time I don't even know what I should be doing or why it's important?

I see people go all through school never having fun, then they go through 4-8 years of college not having fun, then they get out in the world and they're working, working, working, and they're just miserable people. And then from what I've seen at some point they snap and realize they missed out on a lot and have affairs or do silly things that wreck their life anyway.

I just don't get this whole "Life" thing I guess. I know there's more to life then having fun, I'm not saying that. I'm not a 24 hour party guy by any means. But the things I study, music, instruments, history, sociology, religions, systems of governments. All that studying takes up pretty much all my time anyway.

I guess I'm not sure what the point of all this is, I've just been thinking on it lately about how what seems to be so important to everyone else I couldn't give a rats a** about. I just want to live and learn and grow, not stifle myself into a system that seems to me to be nothing more then oppression.

I keep thinking human beings were not supposed to be living like this, but then again I'm not sure how were supposed to be living. Shouldn't we be evolving as a species? We've kind of been spinning our wheels for awhile now. Sure our technology gets better all the time, but the people don't seem to. We're always 2 seconds away from, "Burn the Witch!" type behavior.

I've been reading a book by Konrad Lorenz and he talks about how in humanity aggression is instinctual and we haven't evolved enough yet to to have any inhibiting mechanisms to curb our aggression and ensure the survival of the species. And that because of this man is the most dangerous animal.

anyway it got me thinking so I thought I'd share some of my psychosis.

Oh Guitar Catalogs,...you tease me but make me laugh

2010-05-16T16:33:00.000-07:00

I like reading guitar magazines and catalogs, especially the catalogs. Delivered free to my mail to make me drool and pine for new guitars. And I've found the best place to keep these catalogs is in the bathroom. Nothing like sitting on the john flipping through some guitar porn.

But I find myself laughing at the oddest times while reading it! For your amusement I've collected some of the things I've seen in the catalog that made me laugh.

So I'll list some of the things that made me chuckle and maybe you'll chuckle too.

"The maple fingerboard and jumbo frets are very finger-friendly"
(that's good, I hate it when guitars try and bite my fingers off. If it's safe for fingers I bet kids and little pets are safe too!)

"Nitro finish lets the Alder breathe and age gracefully."
(nothing's as ugly as Alder that hasn't aged gracefully. A glass of scotch in one hand, cigarette hanging out it's mouth, talking 'bout what 'might have been.' It's just ugly.)

"Thin nitrocellulose lacquer lets all that tone shine through."
(Ha ha h-....wait....what??)

"The distressed finish and hardware create the look of an axe that's weathered lots of gigs yet performs flawlessy."
(the 'yet performs flawlessy' cracks me up for some reason. This is like telling people if you gig with your axe it's going to get beat to sh*t, but if you're really lucky, it'll still actually work.)

"The thicker bridge block increases sustain with a more stable point of contact with strings."
(the hell? More stable contact? What does that even mean?)

"The synchronous twin-pivot tremolo give you authentic whammy bar action."
(Authentic whammy bar action. What exactly would "un-authentic" sound like?"

"The tremolo bridge arms you for wild note bending fun!"
(I can't decide if I want to be armed, or authentic. Armed sounds so manly.)

"Go Wylde without going broke!"
(Hmm, I think there's a slight dig there about Gibson prices.)

"The Goth Les Paul Oozes dark vibes!"
(Can I order the one that doesn't have the oozing problem? That gets messy.)

"Armed with 2 Alnico Classic humbuckers for spellbinding riffs and solos."
(Damn now I'm armed and I'm casting spells. This is clearly a guitar of magical properties.)

"mini-humbuckers deliver bright and focused output without the buzz."
(Since when do humbuckers ever buzz? Strings yes, humbuckers? I think no.)

"Alnico II magnet humbuckers go from rich, sweet lightning to warm, tingling waves of sustain."
(I'm armed, I'm casting spells, I'm shooting lightning out of my guitar and attacking the ladies with "tingling waves of sustain." I. Am. Awesome!)

"reveals the splender of the certified environmentally sound curved swamp ash top and body."
(Damn tree's have to be certified to be environmentally sound? It's tough being a tree these days.)

"Offers distinct looks."
(Really? Cuz I'm looking at like 20 guitars on this page that look just like it!)

"Add $520."
(For any color other then worn red or brown? So you're showing me 7 guitars listed as $799. each but in reality they're actually $1,320. for the guitars you're showing me that aren't faded brown or red. So making the Studio guitar white or black seriously costs another $520.?? Are you out of your (*&^%$#%& Minds!!?!?!?)

"A gigging musicians Les Paul" (for $1,900.)"
(No gigging musician I know could afford that, and if they could they sure wouldn't be gigging with it.)

Tone and Mods:Improved or just Different?

2010-05-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

Been thinking a lot about tone and mods this week. Since getting the Epiphone really. And I keep thinking about what mods are a real improvement and what's just different sounding.

Pickups are a great example. You can drastically change the sound of your guitar by changing the pickups. But have you Improved it? Or just made it Different?

I remember the guy on the board who said he didn't like his hardtail Strat because it didn't sound like his regular Strat and I told him the hardtail sounds good, it just sounds different. Now I find myself in the same position.

When I first played the Epiphone I thought the sound was kinda "Blah!" because it didn't sound like the Agiles. The midrange in the Agile really honks, possibly because of the AlNiCo V pickups I assume. The Epiphone has more of a scooped midrange and a bit less treble. I keep thinking I should replace the wires and pickups on it, but when I'm playing it for awhile I realize it sounds good, just different.

So I almost wonder if all the mods that people do on their guitars aren't really an improvement as much as just a difference. All our ears work differently and what sounds good to some of us might not sound good to others. To me a Squier Bullet sounds a bit harsh and trebly, but Pesky makes them sound great, and I bet if SRV picked up a stock Squier Bullet he could make that puppy scream and sound amazing. Then people would wonder how he got that amazing sound and be convinced it must be expensive mods made to the guitar.

You can't argue that better tuners, better volume controls, etc. are an improvement because it makes the guitar work better. But when it comes to changing things that pertain to the actual sound like the pickups themselves I wonder how much each pickup is really an "improvement" over the next pickup?

I mean it'd be awesome to have one guitar and be able to afford to pop 10 different pickups and brands into it to see how it sounded, but who can afford that? I sure can't. And I wonder how much of it is psychosomatic in the sense of, "I just spent $200. on these pickups, they ARE GOING to sound GOOD!" But do they really sound good? Or just different? And would someone else with a completely different set of ears agree that they're "better" or just "different?"

I find with the guitars I have now depending on my mood I reach for a different one. The Epi for the scooped out, softer, warmer tone. The Agile for the harsher honking chunk, and the Squier CV50's for the treble, clarity, and response (it's immediate.) And I'm starting to think that none of these guitars sound better, just different. And they're all stock nothings replaced except some cosmetics. If I want to do a rock song or a chunky blues song the Strat is great for that. If I want a softer metal type song with shredding and stuff, the Epiphone is great for that. When I need something kind of in the middle the Agile is awesome because it can do heavy chunky stuff or I can play the bridge pickup, turn my CryBaby pedal on and use it like a treble booster and get a very, very close sound to a Strat. It doesn't sound like a Strat don't think I'm saying that, but I can get close to the sound of one.

So lately I'm starting to think I really don't need to change anything on these guitars, they all work very well and they're fine at what they do. None of them are better, they're all just different. And I guess I'm just comfortable with working with what I have instead of wondering what I could do to "improve" the tone when really maybe I'd be better served improving my own skills and techniques?

Anyway just thought I'd share the thought because this is a heavy modding board so it seemed an appropriate venue for discussion. In no way am I trying to flame-bait anyone or start an argument or anything. I do not look down in the least on people that mod their guitars. In a way I'm jealous of how fast some of you guys dismantle a guitar install new wiring harness's and pickups and have the guitar back up and running so fast. It's a very impressive skill, and one that I definitely do not have.

I'm always scared I'm going to make the guitar worse, or somehow change the sound or something and it won't feel or sound the same and I won't be able to get it back to where it was. I think a lot of people have this fear too which is why not everyone is quick to take their guitars apart.

But anyway.... Improved? or just Different?

Frets and Fretwire

2010-05-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

Why oh why do the frets wear down so? Why can't fretwire be made of sterner stuff? What about iron or steel fret wire or something that wont wear down so fast?

And the inconsistencies? One guitar wears down so fast it's like the frets are made of solder, but another guitar wears down slower. I sold my Green Dog weeks ago because I'd worn the frets down so bad. And I was looking at my bass players Strat last night and every fret down to around the 15th has deep, deep grooves worn into them from the top 3 strings.

Is it something about the manufacturing where they need a weaker metal to install them? I just don't get it.

Why do the frets wear down, and why do they wear down so fast on some guitars? (admittedly less expensive guitars.)

I feel this is a design/engineering flaw that should be corrected on future guitars. Forget installing computers into the guitars and all that stuff, just make a guitar that doesn't wear out and fall apart. That's all I ask.

Being a guitarist is like being a Kung-Fu Master!!!

2010-05-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

I know it's nuts, but hear me out, it's my weird theory and view but it's logical.

When I was a kid I loved (and still love) Kung Fu movies. My grandfather was a 5th or 6th degree judo black belt and a golden gloves champ when he was younger. My uncle was in the military and into hand to hand, and my uncle and my mother both were taught by their father (my grandfather) in judo as well. So a good chunk of my childhood was being taught fighting and getting flipped around. Until I was about 8 or 9. Then my grandfather being the "Head of the Family" decreed that I wasn't allowed to learn anymore, because I was an angry kid and he thought I was going to roam the streets and kill somebody. So I had been taught discipline and dedication to an art that I was no longer allowed to practice. And more then anything I wanted to learn Kung Fu, but wasn't allowed to take lessons. Man I was pissed. Then I discovered guitar.

For whatever reason I just "got" guitar right away, maybe it's because I was young and my brain wasn't cluttered with life stuff yet and it was easy to just sponge up info about guitar and music. I realized I may not be able to turn my body into a weapon of destruction, but I could train my hands. So all the discipline and ideals I had I channeled and focused into just my hands. It's a viewpoint really. In Kung Fu you learn styles, shapes and patterns that you move your body in. You all have heard of it. The Tiger, The Dragon, The Snake, The Eagles Claw, The Crane, etc. I realized guitar was exactly the same. You're training your hands these patterns and shapes. The Blues Scale, The Minor Scale, The Major Scale, Modes, Arpeggios, Chords, etc. You're training your hands to be ready, fast, and adaptable to any situation. You're training your ears to be alert and hear when the group/song has changed keys, gone from minor to major, and your hands are there, in shape, ready to adapt to this new situation on the fly. Like a martial artist you're looking for the holes to fill, the weakness, the spot to change styles and whip out something unexpected. There are moments you don't have a guitar in your hands, but you're holding one in your mind. You're meditating on the art of guitar, and you're actually practicing it in your head. You're visually picturing a guitar, and practicing on it.

Years go by.

You realize other people are coming to you for lessons, other people consider you a "Master," but you're not. You still think you suck. The more you learn the more you realize there is to learn, and then you learn more, and the reality sinks in that you'll never, ever know all there is to learn. It's an endless journey, you will never be a Master and always be a student.

One day you realize you've dedicated your entire life to an art form. You've lost friends, family, moments that you can never have back because in your discipline you excluded them in pursuit of mastering the instrument. Your teen years are gone, your 20's are gone, friends and family is gone, and it's just you and your instrument. It can be lonely, but that's the price you pay for your dedication to this art form. One day you look at your guitar and you hate it, you despise what it's done to you and your life. You realize you're completely incapable of feeling complete or being able to express yourself unless you have this piece of wood in your hands. Your tongue feels clumsy and stupid while your fingers feel fleet and nimble. Your tongue speaks one language while your fingers speak many. You realize you're chained to the guitar, and it's chained to you. Neither one of you are complete without the other. You are ying and yang, the circle cannot be complete unless you are both joined.

Your friends go up, go to college, start a life, start a family, and you're still studying and practicing your art, because it's what you do, it's who you are, and after 20+ years you don't know how to be anything else. You wander around the country studying from other masters, and teaching others when you get the chance. You dream of opening up your own school one day where you can teach your own unique style, settle down, and maybe start a family.

There's no retirement plan, there's no insurance for you. You've given yourself to a thankless art really. Unless you're lucky enough to make it big and make a ton of money, there's really no money in it either. There's self satisfaction and the feeling of working towards a goal, but you know it's a goal you'll never really reach, because it's impossible to be "The One" and know and be able to do everything. Even if you know 10 styles intimately, you can't practice them all all the time, so 1 or 2 styles always suffer while you learn others. And it becomes a balancing act to juggle and stay proficient in all the styles, while still pursuing new ones.

Other people go to college for 4 years and get a sweet paying job. You "put yourself" through self imposed schooling for over 20 years and you still can't get a "real job." And other people will actually look down on you as being a loser, or a musician. Some people will even assume you must be a junkie or a drunk because why else would you play music for a living? It's a vicious circle, and non-musicians are pretty evil and don't understand. They're caught up in the rat race of working and getting more "stuff." You don't see the need to worry about "stuff" because you think, "I'm going to die one day anyway, and this is all just stuff, in the meantime there's more to be learned." The gap between you and "normal people" grows wider.

At the end of the day you've trained, you've studied, you've become everything (almost) you'd ever dreamed of as a kid. Everything you want to do, you can do. Other people respect your skills but it can be hard to respect yourself. When you see other people having a normal life, children, growing up and moving on, and you're still chained to the instrument that you'll probably be buried with, because it's such a part of you.

And then one night, deep in meditation it hits you. You HAVE become a Master. NOT because you're the greatest player, because you know you will never be the greatest player. You're a Master because you realize what all Masters before you have realized.

You've totally surrendered and given your entire life to an art form.

This is why we mourn Randy Rhoads, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix, Dimebag Darrell.

Because it's only after the Masters have left us, do we really appreciate them, does it really sink in that these people truly and totally gave themselves and their lives to the art.

That's when we truly miss them, and that's when we truly, truly wish we could thank them for giving their lives to advancing the art we love so much. That's when it really hits you that these people did not live a normal happy life, and in a way sacrificed themselves for us and our art.

So now I pose a serious question. How much do you truly love guitar? If the answer is, "not enough" then for gods sake, please live a normal, happy, healthy life and don't throw it away for an instrument that will not, can not, ever love you. Hug your children, tell your woman how much you love and appreciate her, grow old and die happy.

The secret to guitar, is that there is no secret. To be really good at comes at a high price, and it can be a price you don't realize you paid, until you've already paid it.

Peace my Axe slinging brothers.

-M-

Can people hear your influences in your playing?

2010-05-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

I've had people tell me that my music reminds them of Alice in Chains mixed w/ Megadeth/Metallica, and that's cool, it used to bug me that people compare but I'm pretty over it now. But yesterday someone told me they hear Creedence Clearwater Revival in my playing/songwriting and that really surprised me. Because I DO listen to Creedence (deep down I think John Fogerty is THE MASTER song'smith.) But I never realized you could hear it in my playing or anything. You know, "metal guy!" roar, roar, roar! Up the Irons! *Fist Pump!* Etc. So I was really surprised when the guy said he heard Creedence.

Well actually at first he said country and I was like, "No way man, I've never listened to country." and he followed with, "well more like CCR actually."

Just kind of surprised me. I didn't realize I'm wearing my influences on my sleeve like that.

Then again, I guess being a mix of Creedence/Alice in Chains/Megadeth isn't such a bad thing.

Can people hear YOUR influences when you play?

Technique VS Composition

2010-05-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

Technique VS Composition (or) Who's the greatest guitar player in the world, and does anyone care?

There comes a point in your playing where your quest for technique can actually start to actively work against you. What I mean by this is that your hand will actually start to fall into patterns of behavior, you hear something a certain way in your head but then you go to play it and your hand starts doing what you've been doing the most of. Maybe you've been working scales or practicing pentatonic licks a lot for the past couple months, and then you find your hands almost automatically playing those licks. In a way this is a good thing, the muscle memory has been so ingrained into your hands that they do it unthinkingly, but at the same time this is a bad thing because in a way you're just repeating an exercise you've done many times, not actually creating music.

The two biggest examples I always use are at opposite ends of the technique spectrum. On one side you've got Michael Angelo Batio, an incredible monster of a guitar player with technique out the wazoo. He plays right handed, left handed, both handed, one hand plays rhythm while the other does leads, he harmonizes with himself live. It's incredible. He's like the gold winning athlete of the guitar world. I'd argue that he's probably THE BEST guitarist on the planet and probably always will be. So why is it torture to actually listen to him play? Because it lacks rhythm and dynamics, it doesn't tell a story, it sounds like 1,000. exercise executed flawlessy and set to a drum machine. Then on the other end of the spectrum we'll take Kurt Cobain. Arguably a pretty awful guitar player who seemed to know one chord (the "power" chord Root/5th) and one scale, the pentatonic. And yet with one chord and one scale this guy was able to make multiple cd's, sell a ton of singles, rally an entire generation of pissed off kids, and kill glam/hair metal dead seemingly overnight.

So why is that? Why did one chord and one scale trump playing 2 guitars at once with billions of scales and chords?

And that's when we come down to what I think of as "Technique VS Composition."

When I was a kid I practiced non-stop, hours and hours all day everyday. I was determined to be the most bad ass guitarist on the planet. I learned every technique I could and practiced it until I could whip it out without even thinking about it. I prided myself on being able to do "impersonations" of other guitar players. Vai, Yngwie, Michael Angelo, Satriani, Wylde, Dimebag Darrell, Mustaine and Hammett. The shredders of that day. I'd go into "Yngwie mode" and start busting out diminished runs, sweeping arpeggios, shredding through a harmonic minor scale. Basically taking the stereotypical licks of those players and stringing them together. Then I'd joke with my friends, "Here's Kurt Cobain" and I'd butcher a chord and sound out of tune and nasty. Ha! Ha! Big laughs. Turns out the joke was on me.

One day it hit me like a ton of bricks. There's nothing "out there" I can't impersonate, yet I felt unfulfilled and terrible. I'd invested 100's of hours of practice and emulation into the guitar and I had nothing to show for it really. I couldn't write a song. So I stopped playing guitar, I felt like I had conquered that mountain and there was nothing left to learn. I didn't hear any other guitarists that inspired me or made me want to play, so I just stopped playing for awhile.

I also discovered girls, Alice in Chains, TooL and Soundgarden, and drinking beer with my friends in the woods around this time.

Suddenly I realized I loved Soundgarden. The drums were awesome, the singer was awesome, and holy crap the lyrics are really good! I started actually hearing "The Song" instead of just hearing the guitar player and hearing his technique, or lack of. I discovered how cool "The Riff" is, and how the riff and the song are way more important then a solo and technique. People honestly just don't care about how good a guitar player is, they just want a cool song to listen to. I was inspired, I wanted to play guitar. I went home and picked up my guitar and right away started shredding, sweeping, all that crap. I was bummed. I wanted to write music by my hands kept doing Yngwie type stuff. So I quit. I didn't touch a guitar for over a year. I just listened to music a lot, hung out with my friends, and let my hands get good and weak, slow and clumsy. One day I picked up the acoustic out of the closet and started just strumming an Am chord. I thought, "oh, I'd forgotten how beautiful just strumming a chord can be!" Then I switched to a Cmaj, "oh that sounds nice!" Then to an F then a G. Then I just repeated those four chords over and over for about 10 minutes while I started humming along to the guitar, making up little melodies and just strumming my guitar. I was finally actually making music, something had changed inside me, I'd grown up some. I realized it doesn't matter how awesome you are at guitar because for one, there's always going to be someone much, much better then you, BUT (and it's a really big BUT) that doesn't mean you can't be a better musician. I've met lots of people that can tap with 10 fingers and do all kinds of really bad-ass stuff on the guitar, and I always present them with the same question/challenge, "What songs have you written?" Most of the time I find they haven't written any, or if they have, it tends to sound like Michael Angelo type stuff. It's a composition of "impressive stuff" linked together and called a song, but has no real passion, rhythm, or dynamics. It's strung together exercises. It might impress a guitar player, especially a beginning guitar player. But to someone who doesn't care about guitar, it's wanking. And it doesn't sound very good. This is why shredders never truly get popular. Sure you could argue that Vai, Yngwie, Angelo Batio are popular, and in a sense they are, but really they're much more popular with guitar players then the average person who wants to listen to music.

Hang out with some chicks and try playing some Yngwie cd's and watch how fast they turn the stereo onto some simple minded hip-hop that makes their booty move. They don't care about how good a musician they were just listening to is, they just want that groove.

Which brings me back to Technique VS Composition. No one cares about technique other then another guitar player. And even then he really only cares in the sense of, "Is this guy better then me? Or am I better then him?" He's not listening with a critical ear for music, he's listening with a critical ear for his own ego. Which is why I sometimes have a really hard time hanging out with guitar players. Too many of them value technique over music.

To wrap it up I'll say this. I use to practice all day every day, I wont anymore. I like keeping my hands a little bit sloppy, a little bit loose. I like the struggle of trying to pull off some cool run instead of being able to effortlessly whip through a run and have it sound clinical. But most importantly I find that by limiting my practicing I never lose sight of how beautiful it is to just sit there and strum an Am chord.

in short: play music on your guitar, instead of just playing with your guitar.

I hope this long winded observation makes sense to some of you and helps someone who's maybe feeling like they're in a rut or they're fingers want to keep playing the same licks and runs. Sit down, chill out and just strum some chords. Hum along to it, make up a little song. You'll feel a million times better. People just don't care about technique, they just want to hear a nice song. When you remind yourself of that it makes it easier not to be frustrated that some super hard "betcha can't play this!" lick is not going as well as you'd like.

Would you rather play to 300 people all moving and grooving to a fun to play song? Or would you rather impress that one jaded and bitter guitar player in the audience and bore to death the other 299 people? Me personally? I say, "Screw that guy!" play the hell out of a "simple" song and rock out with the 299 other people that just want to have some fun and listen to some cool music.

Peace my Axe-Slinging brothers.

-M-